A Black Feather, A poison pen... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...than i care to say to / anyone who asks first and second basic steps in my database project: complete. Reconciling what exists in the old system to what exists in hard copy (as there was once a great deal of shit that only existed in hard copy and as other computer files outside of and totally incompatible with the system. it'll be nice to have at least some little modicum of consistency in this joint. purging duplicate and out-of-date records. Next task, beginning tomorrow is to start populating the new database with the some of the specific details of each of the contracts. interesting, yesterday was the first time in a (very very) long while that i got in trouble for my perpetual tardiness, though not from the simple standpoint of a rule i was breaking which is never my reason for wanting to be on time for anything. It was a mixture of flattery and pressure being told of the relative importance of my new role when the new system goes online and i become the help-desk twisted path i walk on. In my adult life i have been a farmworker, an aspiring soldier, a drop-out law student, an "independent pharmaceuticals broker and affiliated security solutions consultant" (and no, i never owned an iguana), a factory hand, a thief, a telephone system operator, an electronics technician, a bar bouncer, a homeless weirdo, a video store clerk, an apartment maintenance man, a data-entry clerk, a faceless bureaucrat, a customer service and information rep and now a backup sysAdmin. Hell of a resume, no? Of course a few of those things are far too colorful to put on a legitimate resume, but in many cases i had fun doing it. but by the same token there have been any number of days i would sell more souls than just my own to rewind and revise... one of those days was last week. i said something i should have been content to just leave alone. for all the reasons and other times in my life when i would have been smart to withhold my trust in someone, the day i finally did it turned out to ne the wrong fucking day. I'm sorry i put you on that spot, love. If i had never been burned that way before i never would have asked that question. I was wrong and i should have trusted you, but i had to know. i had to be sure as often as i mess things up...i DO love you i feel like time, more than anything else, is against me when it comes to this searching for a place in your heart 4:20 p.m. - 2003-02-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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