A Black Feather, A poison pen... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Piss, vinegar, brimstone and bile Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit! un-fun sort of day. trying to coordinate a project while still coping with my workload I'm telling you i haven't experiencced this sort of pressure since my inauspicious introduction to my late, immense biker friend "Hamburger" when he introduced me to the unfinished wall of the bar where i worked briefly as a bouncer. Although unlike that and other experiences, the shit i have to contend with right now won't leave me or anybody else with any sore ribs to speak of. Recent political news diminishes the feeling of regret for the repeated collapse of my California aspirations in much the same way that the last several years has taken the nostalgic, familial sheen off of Texas for me. I like that AFI song but i can't watch the video. I pondered going out this weekend, but the last time i made that sort of effort outside the gallery show i caught a few weeks back was just one more bout of frustration. anybody who wants to tell me i'm a fucking idiot for drinking or wanting to drink should try having to specifically be me and do it in a sober fashion....Fuuuuuuck Yooouuuu. Man, i tell you that between where i am and where i've been...if i didn't have worse things than hangovers to worry about now, i'd fucking STAY drunk. Other than the occasional puking, i am in most cases infinitely more charming when i'm half in the bag, i'm a very sociable drunk, or at least i was. The way i figure it is that i don't see it as being terribly different if i borrow my self esteem from commercially available beverages than through prescription substances, either way there's gonna be side-effects and either way it's gonna be unpleasant when i don't have the shit in my bloodstream 5:13 p.m. - 2003-10-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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