A Black Feather, A poison pen... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"i don't know what's wrong with me, doc, Last nigh i dreamt i was a wigwam, the night before i dreamt i was a teepee\" Today has that disorganized circus-monkey-on-crack kind of feel to it. one of the bosses said something in passing that sounded disquieting, not from a job standpoint but from a physical standpoint. Said i looked tired... i felt energetic enough, in fact i felt nearly hyperactive. Friday (fuinally and about fucking time) the new system i'm supposed to be the main point of contact for (the "new responsibilities" and "new job") i've been mewntioning off handedly for fucking near forever) finally becomes a reality.
but yes, i must remember to be a little more aggressive again in my pursuit of this whole concept of upward mobility. I am starting to fel offended by the fact that people who i trained are now ranked higher on the pay scale than me even though they regularly come to me for my expertise (this is the one regret i have about taking this position where i am now, if i had still been part of the support staff pool, i would ostensibly be number 2 on the totem pole behind the lady who replaced my old boss, but since i put myself here in this queue waiting for the new system to come online, i have beeen in career limbo. somg i definitely need to just get smokey and listen to in the dark right about now is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata i got a wild hair the other day and took the shears to the hair on my face, i look younger, my indian blood becomes infinitely more obvious...coming home from the library monday afternoon an old black woman remarked about it and i could see something of the same in her face, our high cheekbones the vertical crease where the brow furrows, large matronly woman smelling vaguely of gasoline or tar or some solvent chemical, ratty, old heavily dog-eared bible in her hands, though thankfully she didn't start proselytizing to me. I've always wondered about my tribal heritage, i just took it for granted for so long that i was a "mexican" and never let my curiousity run much deeper than that, but i admit that over time, my fascination with things Pre-Columbian has been greater. Knowing where some of my ancestry originates from, i could guess that the remark about having Aztec features makes more than a certain amount of sense, i could guess that it would not be too much o f astretch of the imagination to imagine a certain amount of Comanche lineage as well. I would have to do more research than my time or resources allow me, but i would hazard that this guess is not far from the mark. i am unfocused today. i would rather be playing around today, but i am mostly working. A nap would be nice, but then i'd be up all night i wonder when this year's Matsuri festival is going to take place, soon i imagine...that and the Art Detour...my two favourite events at this time of year 1:19 p.m. - 2003-02-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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