A Black Feather, A poison pen... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- catching up sitting in the dark with only the LED's on the keyboard and the glow of the monitor itself to light my way, taking some days off to house-sit, may take more soon to get away, however briefly from this city, even if just for a few days. rumours floating around of another potebtial career advancement, one that could double my salary in the next two years or so if i manage to nail it down, which would be a good thing as i figure the old homestead is on the verge of becoming a "money pit" and whatever i can save on top of what remains of my share of the old house will be what serves as my downpayment toward something new. I'm gonna have to seriously reconfigure this year's withholding just to make sure that i don't get royally fucked for balance. unrelated note to self: too much ginseng may positively affect blood sugar, but results in a lot of currently pointless and persistent arousal was tempted, during one of those bouts of unplanned libidinousness, to break whatever rules there are and proposition the pretty insurance rep who was in on a records review...not that i actually imagine having the proverbial snowball's chance in hell...actually found her face even more compelling when she had the not-quite cat-eye glasses... yeah, c'est la vie three attractions i don't have any real freedom to act on: the insurance rep, the new co-worker (seemingly already otherwise involved), and the last co-worker i was personally responsible for training (the x-factor being her young son, who i think is a cool, cute little kid, but knowing myself and knowing what i know of her situation the way i do, assuming she was interested in me, would i even be a remotely suitable father figure for the little guy...i barely managed to avoid fucking things up for the nephew i played big-brother/surrogate father to back when he was a kid...all these lingering doubts...i think i was more prepared to venture down that road when i was barely through with childhood myself, strange as that may seem.) three attractions i cannot act on, and something else a that maybe runs a little deeper where uncertainty is a lingering thing for so many reasons. 2:11 a.m. - 2004-08-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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