A Black Feather, A poison pen... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- receding in the mirror, growing smaller with distance and time So the apartment complex i was looking into called me last night and said that since i proved i was serious by putting down the deposit money i put in last week, they would let me flex-pay the rest of the upfront money that they were asking for. Originally i was gonna wait until the next time they had an opening, but an unexpected early opening popped up and i guess they like me better than the next applicant because they offered me the unit and the flexibility to cough up the xtra cash over time instead of all in upfront. I go down tomorrow to sign the lease, which is pretty happening and i move in Tuesday. On the other side of this is my whole ambivalence about suddenly leaving behind a place that has been in my family for something like the last 50 years. I'm over here having all of these sepia-toned memories of back when it was "Grandma's house" and while i'm happy to be in someplace that will be more my own than anyplace else i have lived, there is still the melancholy of losing that last phsycial piece and place of where i came from and who i am. instead of pondering the memory-ghosts that inhabit the walls, i will (in a sense) become one of them. bricks and mortar have a peculiar brand of memory all their own, though the decay of time may be like senility setting down upon the old place. in a few days i will be gone from that place, nevermore to call it home and like a barbed arrow in flesh, i can only move forward 4:08 p.m. - 2006-10-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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