A Black Feather, A poison pen...

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blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

Moderately productive day.


Couple of one-on-one meetings with customers.


was glad the OpsAdmin is gone for a week or so, was going to sit down in her office and tell her that the while i appreciated the sentiment behind the compliments she paid me while introducing me to our international visitors yesterday, what she said, in the context that we, as Americans are perceived by Europeans (based on certain truths) was at best faint praise for me, and was an unintentional denigration of the rest of the office.


I was mistaken in my assessment of who they were and what functions they served in their respective roles. They are not quite our counterparts. They apprently represent a coalition of organizations that act as intermediaries between government social-service agencies and non-profit, charitable organizations. I have to admit to being rather attracted to the delegate from the Czech Republic. It was the biggest ego boost i was given in ahile: i got the impression from the looks she occasionally gave me across the table as we ate lunch that she either thought i was interesting in that "trian-wreck" sort of way, or for some unknowablke reason liked my face enough to shoot me these glances.


Oh well. We discussed business with another delegate and one of my co-workers, much of the conversation was in parts of the territory where i have little knowledge so until we came to an area where i could speak with some authority, i was resigned to sit there and feel a little dumb.


Once the rest of the meetings that brought them to our office were done, they were gone.


What fault of wiring in my brain to always be so struck by the generally unattainable.


True, this was just a flash of attraction. The likelihood of winning the lottery, being struck by lightning and then being involved in a plane-crash all on the same day were more likely than anything actually happening outside of my imagination.


But it isn't just in matters of attraction where futility cuts me off at the knees. And every now and then, i have days that make me averse to my senses because all of the input they bring me, all of the stimuli they provide seem designed like some experiment in negative reinforcement

5:22 p.m. - 2003-03-14

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